this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2026
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Today is an ORANGE terror alert day! What does that mean? Fuck if we know, but its ORANGE so be SCARED
Green: Every Al Qaeda member is asleep
Yellow: It's late in enough in the morning that they know they should get out of bed and do terrorism, but every Al Qaeda member is a sleepy lil bean
Orange: Al Qaeda members spotted boarding plane, but it's heading to a nice place so maybe they're on holiday
Red: Al Qaeda members spotted flying to a worse city than they boarded from without sunglasses or Hawaiian shirts