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Untapped Mountain Only Justification ICE Agent Needs | Commander's Herald (commandersherald.com)

submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by LibertyLizard@slrpnk.net to c/mtg@mtgzone.com

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~~PHYREXIA~~ MINNESOTA** – **Americans are up in arms today after an Immigration and Customs Enforcement officer fatally shot a Magic player who had nothing but an untapped Mountain on their person.

According to officials, the kinda sorta law enforcement agent heroically murdered the hellbent player in cold blood because he had a thing that could maybe do something at some point potentially.

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[–] iatenine@piefed.social 13 points 3 days ago

said offending snow-covered Gestapo officer Shipdit

...

Shipdit, who dropped out of high school before they covered German history

This article has clauses that go harder than most parody today

I haven't seen jokes stacked like this since Bojack wrapped