this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
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I wake up to a bright flashing of my phone.
It is 3am, damn I forget to turn my phone to silent.
I can't resist the urge, who would text me this time of night??!?
"hey I have been thinking about you, you know I think we could work it out together. I will spend 2026 improving myself I promise. Please baby I miss you"
"go to bed Microslop, you are drunk and you are the one that wanted the divorce because you left me for Al" I text back frustratedly and turn my phone to silent.
I want a divorce and I'm keeping Clippy
King/Queen (whichever you prefer, frigging royalty)