Self-hosting

you are correct in being wary of self-hosting email, i cannot recommend it. you definitely want a static IP (as oppoased to updating DNS entries all the time), a solid spam setup, and multiple failsafes, mesning not just data backup, but also mechanisms for preventing downtime like secondary machines. it really is only worth it if multiple people make use of it and you have multiple dedicated admins, in my opinion.

as others have pointed out, use something like mailbox.org with your own domain, or other providers, or even a webhosting package from netcup or hetzner or similar. these are all solid and you have professional support.

side note: downside is, your data there is more snoopable, less so with something like proton. but that shouldn't be your biggest worry, since emails always exist not just on your server, but also on the other side of the communication, and you have no guatantees for privacy there. e2ee (like pgp) is what you would need in that case.