this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2026
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Spot on. Zero smart features in this house.
I don't even use the moisture sensing settings on my dryer. Fuck you machine, you don't get to decide when my pants are dry enough. You will run for 56 minutes and you'll shut the fuck up about it.
It would probably be a short series but I wonder how a cartoon strip about a low-esteem appliance would carry.
Just read Hitchhiker's Guide. Marvin would count, but there's also depressed doors and other unfortunately sentient objects.
Ha, Marvin was anything but low esteem though! Miserable, frustrated, cynical, yes, but certainly knew how underutilized he was and constantly made reference to it because he knew his own capability. It was the idiot universe with which he couldn't reconcile.
In Red Dwarf, Dave Lister owns a self-aware toaster. He doesn't like toast. The toaster hates him for it
Oh a temperature probe? You know what we did back in the day? We guessed when the meat was done, and if we wanted it raw we just ate it raw.
"I require me meat to be exactly 136.7 degrees American" - ranting of the weak and insane.