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Exposure therapy for shyness (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by reabsorbthelight@lemmy.world to c/parenting@lemmy.world

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My 5.5yo daughter is very shy, so I've been pushing her into hobbies to help managing her shyness. I've talked about how being shy is fine, but it's something to work on, otherwise she'll have a really hard time making friends. I'm shy and told her about that.

I took her to a gymnastics class (we do gymnastics together at open gym), but she refused to join the class. I said if she does one activity (even just a game at the end), I'll get her ice cream. We spent the time sitting on the side.

She didn't do it, so I figure no ice cream then. She's pretty mad. I'm not mad with her, but just of the opinion that we had a deal, and if she wants the reward, she needs to earn it.

Too harsh? Too soft? Alternatives?

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[–] reabsorbthelight@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Yeah, she's told me in pretty much every occasion that she's scared the kids or teacher will be mean, but after a couple classes she's fine. Similar with play dates. She's not stressed by social situations at all (other than new ones), in fact, she craves friends a lot and often tells me that she wants to play with other kids. I'm school and neighborhood, she's often the leader and organizes the games for kids.

I'm not trying to make her extroverted to be clear, but I'd actually say she's more extroverted than me. Shyness isn't introversion. In fact, my push for a hobby is to effectively get her more friends to balance playdates that she wants.