this post was submitted on 12 Jan 2026
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I’ve been down that road. The hardest thing to do is to pass over a sure thing for what you might classify as a fantasy. But, there are thousands of people in your area (some are single milfs too 😅) and I’d bet dollars to doughnuts there’s a few out there that would get you super close to your ideal. Keep dating, but take stock in what works for you and what doesn’t. My therapist calls these people “practice chicks”, because they’re your stepping stone to “perfect” (not literally perfect).
Stay strong and give yourself grace.
the COL in my city is so high that normal people can't live here anymore. I only am able to live here because i bought a home 5 years ago before prices doubled. hence the dating pool is full of people who are making 200K a year, who think they are poor, walking around in $5000 outfits thinking that is 'normal'. my outfits are like $100. I shop at uniqlo and rei almost exclusively. the most expensive clothing i own is probably my ski jacket that's like $200.
and if i've learned anything about rich people over the years from dating them, it's that image is everything to them. and it's nothing to me, so there is zero possibility of us ever being compatible beyond a casual sex relationship. which is mostly all i ever find in dating the past 5 years. i haven't had a real relationship in a decade, when the COL in my area was 1/3 of what is today.
litereally my last date before xmas, the woman humble bragging about her multi millionaire parents and went on for 45m about her financial struggles as a doctor making 400K a year she would never 'live up to their standards'. when i told her my parents made 30K a year so i had no clue about any of that, since i make way more than my parents ever did, she took out her phone and said 'i have an emergency' and got up and walked out leaving me with the check.