Autism

Based on your comments it sounds like you might live with people who want participation? Can you give more details about what the parties usually entail? That might make it easier to brainstorm strategies that are directly applicable to you.

Some general big party thoughts:

• are you able to volunteer to take on some of the prep or cleanup duties? Without realizing it fully, I've always volunteered to help "clean up" (even at public events lol) as a way to have something to do. I love tasks lol. It also generally means being able to be in a quieter place for a while. Oh no, I missed the fireworks?? Sorry, I was busy with the dishes 🤷‍♀️

• earplugs seem like something you might have thought about already but I'll mention just in case?

• ensuring you have comfortable clothing on, regulating your temperature etc.

• ensuring you have safe snacks or have eaten beforehand in case the food is not appealing to you. It would be bad to be enduring this while hungry.

• keeping a water bottle with you to stay hydrated and/or having a strategy to avoid being pressured to drink if that is a concern. At public events I order something like soda water or cranberry juice in a rocks glass even if I don't want anything to drink and people generally mind their own business. Some people seem to take an empty glass or lack of glass as a crisis.

New years has always been a low key thing in my family. We would have dinner together, then watch movies or something and then put on the CBC countdown. I don't recall ever going out with friends either - maybe spent it at one of their homes but no big parties. Even when I was younger and didn't fully realize how stressful I found big events I knew that I had no interest in being on crowded public transit after either spending stupid amounts of money on a ticket to a party or standing outside at the city's free festivities. While my parents like parties, I feel lucky that New Years wasn't an event where we were dragged to any. Fireworks were never a big issue as far as I recall. I've always at least heard some going off (including now when I live in the country!) but never close enough that they were distressing.

As an adult living on my own or with my partner we eventually gave ourselves permission to not celebrate. No pressure to go anywhere, stay up until midnight, reply to people who text at midnight etc. We still end up with something very similar to what I described with my family. Sometimes preparing the meal is stressful because we usually try out a cuisine that is new to us but I know I always have the opportunity to opt out if I have to. This year we didn't do that because I didn't think I could handle the mental load but we did still have a somewhat elaborate meal of hotpot