this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2025
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Off My Chest

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My only hobby is shopping, even if I can't afford it I prefer to not eat if I can get new shoes, jewelry, clothes... I don't understand how I ended up like this.

As a kid I was the complete opposite... I didn't demand any toys. But I guess my teenage years were too traumatic causing me so much self-consciousness about myself.

Now I have a very high maintenance appearance, clothes, jewelry and stilettos make me feel better about that void. The compliments I receive on the street feed this fake ego I'm building.

I've become so selfish I think I care more about getting what I want more than I care about people. People are disgusting and evil and deserve all the bad that happens to them, but a nice dress? There's nothing wrong it could do.

The only reason I have friends is so that they praise my appearance. There's no point in looking good if no one notices it.

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[โ€“] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Are there any activities you can remember you like doing for how they make you feel instead of how you think someone else will think about you doing it?

[โ€“] pilferjinx@piefed.social 3 points 2 weeks ago

It may be their peer group and its lifestyle focusing on status. But yeah, I think finding a group that has a dedicated activity or hobby might be helpful in abandoning that kind of life.