Not The Onion

19374 readers

1570 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

kescusay@lemmy.world

296

Trump again touts his ‘perfect health’ and claims he’s ‘aced’ several cognitive tests in rambling rally speech (www.independent.co.uk)

submitted 1 month ago by resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world

32 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://lemmings.world/post/38631327

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 53 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

👀 👀 👀

“I did something no other president's ever done. I took cognitive tests because I know that and by the way, not easy,” Trump said in his Friday speech that was reportedly meant to focus on the economy.

“The first question is like, ‘What is this?’ And they show a lion, a giraffe, a fish, and a hippopotamus. And they say, ‘Which is the giraffe?’” he recalled.

“I don't think Joe would have gotten the first question right,” Trump said. “He would say hippo. ‘I want the hippo,’” the president continued, as his insults against his predecessor drew some laughs from the crowd.

“I've taken now three cognitive tests. I've aced every single one of them,” Trump claimed, pausing as the crowd erupted in applause and cheers.

Edit: It gets way worse than this. 44:39 he starts talking about people thinking he's dead and then leads into this stuff. It lasts for many minutes and he goes into excruciating detail. https://youtu.be/77TqXo0KLrY?t=2679

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 62 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If the test are hard then you got issues. The test aren't supposed to be hard. And if you keep having to take them then again means your not mentally stable.

[–] GenosseFlosse@feddit.org 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Realistically, what would happen if this was the result the doctors agreed on? I don't believe they would replace him as long as he still has a pulse.

[–] Zagam@piefed.social 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They kept Reagan in well past his Best Before date. There's no way theyre gonna pull him before he just dies in his chair.

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 month ago

SOLD!
I would very much prefer him to go to prison but I'll take him dying. Which part of today can we schedule it in for? Now is good, is now ok?

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do you know of any examples of the test? Everything seems to be geared towards caregivers.

[–] Aganim@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There are different kinds of tests, but this is an example: https://www.healthcare.uiowa.edu/familymedicine/fpinfo/Docs/MOCA/MoCA-8.1-English-Test-2020.pdf

[–] pelespirit@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thanks for this. His seemed easier, they must have skipped those first 2 questions.

[–] Aganim@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Probably, connecting the dots was never his forte.

[–] Typhoon@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 month ago

He says the test isn't easy and then talks about a basic animal identification question as an example? Trump's brain is jello.

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago

How do people listen to this and go, "Yep, he's great!"

I just don't understand it. I know, cult, but... Wow.

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"Which is the giraffe?" "...Hold on, gimme a sec... Boy, this is not easy, huh?"

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago

"Is it this one, the one with the long neck?"
"Errrr, that's a swan...which do have long necks bu..."
"Haha, aced it!! Would biden have guessed that?"
"Oh definitely not."
"Brb, just going to tell everyone about this. I'm so smart!!"

[–] MimicJar@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I've taken now three cognitive tests

The final question of the test, written on he back of the paper, is "Don't go on TV and tell everyone you aced a simple cognitive test". That's why he has to keep on taking them.