this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2025
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We don't actually know how far away Betelgeuse is: it could be 500 light years away; it could be just around the corner getting a pack of ciggies and a six-pack to watch the footie on the sky box a bit later, yeah? Come around six, I'll get the missus to defrost a pizza and we can talk fantasy football. The parking might be a bit shite, but the neighbour's away this weekend, so just use their driveaway and pop a "soz" letter through their door just in case. Also, ask Suze if her brother still fixes boilers as ours has gone up this week and it could use a look-see, cheers. If you see the bailiffs outside, tell 'em to get bent.