this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2025
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Hey experts, hoping someone here has insight or experience to share.

We have a dog who’s generally well-trained and listens to commands. With me, he’s calm, respectful, and almost never crosses boundaries. The dog is about 10 months old, so we don't expect every command to be perfect, of course.

But with other family members, it’s a different story. He can get rough, jumps on them, snaps at their hands (even when they’re disengaging), and seems to treat them more like playmates than people to respect. Am afraid someone will eventually get hurt.

This behavior often kicks in when a family member picks up his ball or engages with him in a way he perceives as play. Sometimes seemingly out of nowhere. The dog clearly doesn't mean bad and isn't aggressive, but he underestimates his strength. We’ve tried consistent training across the board, and everyone uses the same commands and techniques. Walks help a bit, he’s more controlled outside/on a leash, but the issue persists indoors or in the yard.

Has anyone dealt with a dog who respects one person but gets too rough with others? Is this a leadership/boundary issue, or something else? Any advice on how to help our dog treat all family members with the same respect he shows me?

Thanks in advance for any ideas!

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[–] Berttheduck@lemmy.ml 26 points 1 week ago (9 children)

This is pretty standard puppy behaviour. The issue is usually consistency. You clearly do the same reaction to their behaviours each time so the dog has learned what you expect.

Your family probably doesn't do the same thing each time or they react in fun ways, like squealing and running away when the dog jumps up. The easy way to resolve this is to train your family, we used a technique called " boring human". So when the dog does something you don't want, rough play, jumping up etc you do "boring human" where you just stand up and don't talk or engage with the dog until it does a behaviour you want to reward usually something like sit. Then you can continue the activity. The important thing is to not engage at all, don't shout or flail as those can be fun and interesting, until the dog does the right behaviour.

[–] original_reader@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Great advice.

We try that, it's just that he hurts family (scratches, bites) while they wait for him to notice that this isn't fun. So that becomes a bit problematic and sits at the core of our problem.

We also try to burn off energy in other ways, thinking that maybe he needs that. He definitely gets enough attention.

[–] Berttheduck@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Something to try if they hurt you is to make a really high pitched yip then do boring human as that's what their litter mates would do if one hurt another.

It communicates they cause pain then by not rewarding them until they are doing a good behaviour you train that one rather than rewarding the bad behaviour.

Children especially are very exciting if they squeal and run away if a puppy nips them in play.

Edit: exercise is also super important, someone suggested a fly line which are great for puppies. 5-10 minutes and they will be knackered. Longer walks and more brain engagement play like sniffing can also help with energy levels.

[–] 14th_cylon@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Something to try if they hurt you is to make a really high pitched yip

Children especially are very exciting if they squeal and run away

so which is it, do high pitched noises or don't?

guess what, the dog does know you are not its littermate. so stop doing crazy sounds and instead just calmly tell the dog no and send it to its place to take timeout, or redirect his attention to some behaviour you want from him.

[–] original_reader@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Good advice. Haven't tried that yet. Will definitely give that a go.

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