this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2025
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Hey experts, hoping someone here has insight or experience to share.

We have a dog who’s generally well-trained and listens to commands. With me, he’s calm, respectful, and almost never crosses boundaries. The dog is about 10 months old, so we don't expect every command to be perfect, of course.

But with other family members, it’s a different story. He can get rough, jumps on them, snaps at their hands (even when they’re disengaging), and seems to treat them more like playmates than people to respect. Am afraid someone will eventually get hurt.

This behavior often kicks in when a family member picks up his ball or engages with him in a way he perceives as play. Sometimes seemingly out of nowhere. The dog clearly doesn't mean bad and isn't aggressive, but he underestimates his strength. We’ve tried consistent training across the board, and everyone uses the same commands and techniques. Walks help a bit, he’s more controlled outside/on a leash, but the issue persists indoors or in the yard.

Has anyone dealt with a dog who respects one person but gets too rough with others? Is this a leadership/boundary issue, or something else? Any advice on how to help our dog treat all family members with the same respect he shows me?

Thanks in advance for any ideas!

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[–] Berttheduck@lemmy.ml 26 points 1 week ago (9 children)

This is pretty standard puppy behaviour. The issue is usually consistency. You clearly do the same reaction to their behaviours each time so the dog has learned what you expect.

Your family probably doesn't do the same thing each time or they react in fun ways, like squealing and running away when the dog jumps up. The easy way to resolve this is to train your family, we used a technique called " boring human". So when the dog does something you don't want, rough play, jumping up etc you do "boring human" where you just stand up and don't talk or engage with the dog until it does a behaviour you want to reward usually something like sit. Then you can continue the activity. The important thing is to not engage at all, don't shout or flail as those can be fun and interesting, until the dog does the right behaviour.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This is pretty standard puppy behaviour. The issue is usually consistency. You clearly do the same reaction to their behaviours each time so the dog has learned what you expect.

precisely. It's also a puppy, and puppies are going to want to play. It's important to burn off energy in ways that are acceptable, otherwise they'll find ways that aren't.

[–] Berttheduck@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Very true. Also useful to recognise when the pup is over tired and needs some down time. My pup would get very bitey when they were ready for a nap, too stubborn to realise that though so we had to enforce nap time as he wouldn't take himself to bed. Bit like a grumpy toddler really.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

And like toddlers... they need some structure, lol. that's a really good metaphore.

Edit: lol, we did turkey-day on saturday this year, and my brother's pup got very worn out after a long day of sledding/tubbing and walking up hills. she doesn't get bitey, though. she gets very snuggly and when you don't snuggle up with her, she gets pouty.

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