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Hello, comrade! You are in no way alone. Alienation and lack of community is (get this, on the bear site!) a product of capitalism. The nuclear family and a temporary and fickle opportunity for school friends and all that, designed as one of the few means for handling basic social stability, it is also precarious and easy to lose or, for many, never gain.To then feel feel untethered like yourself. It is normal but constructed, and of course you are part of it and can try to fight against it, but it is mostly not your fault.

With that said, with (sometimes great) effort you can get tethered. Making friends? Mostly about finding other people that want a friend. Sometimes it is a shared activity and you just keep being friends even if you no longer share it. But the activity can bring you together. It could be socialist organizing, of course. But it could also be kickball or playing chess or free art lessons or volunteering at a community garden or fixing bicycles or riding a bicycle in a group or cooking food for people (Food Not Bombs etc) etc etc. Any activity you can do together, you will likely eventually find a person or three that you get along with. It might not be right away, you might need to "warm up" some rusty social skills, but it also probably won't take too long.

One nice thing about getting involved with organizing is that even the people who aren't your friends can be your comrades so long as the org is half decent. Avoid picking fights and instead go for just being liked and you will likely do pretty well, it's honestly more important than any technical competency. You will socialize with people and have connections in orgs and have it all happen on a regular basis, kind of like having work colleagues, but better because of sharing a voluntary mission. Basically, I think it is a good option to consider because you don't have to set the bar at "making friends" in an organizing space, ever, but you will still get tethered.

This also applies to volunteer spaces like the community garden or mutual aid, in their own ways.

Anyways, it's not easy because it is new people and you have to synthesize connection rather than having it created by the community itself, by default having you as a member. Atomization is real. But it is also just as complex to solve as actively seeking out mutual activity spaces. The difficulty is emotional, it is going out there and talking to strangers and getting used to certain kinds of conversations again. This is a hurdle you can get over!

I also agree with others that this isn't rock bottom, and I don't mean that dismissively. It means you have enough foundation to do this without it being just about having no feasible alternative! You have some gas in that tank, comrade. You can use it to get out there.