this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2025
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People keep giving me lemon curd. Help.
We have a massive, decades-old lemon tree so guests and family keep asking "can i take some lemons?" And i am "please god take some lemons they are everywhere and the ones i miss that drop make the yard smell like pine o cleen as they rot yes please take the fucking lemons here's a large bag fill it, fill it to the brim for christ's sake And lo, they taketh of the lemon.
And then. Aaaaaand then. They feel bad about rescuing us from lemons and GIVE US FUCKING LEMON CURD IN RETURN. Always lemon curd. No tarts no cheesecake, no marmalades, no limoncello, no lemonade, no lemon cakes, no lemongeddon solo derivatives no, just lemon curd. Curd upon curd upon curd. My life is becoming a hell of small repurposed cream cheese jars.
a big box of lemons on your nature should help get rid of lemons
the strangers won't feel compelled to give you lemon curd or anything really, they know they are doing you a favour by taking them
sadly last time I tried that the local meth head started hocking them at cars on South Road
@YarraByte @Taleya I will take your lemons and give you nothing in return. Nothing, do you hear me? Nothing.
HOW MANY BAGS WOULD YOU LIKE
@Taleya sometimes local grocers take them to sell in their shops, which could be an option for you. You could swap them for something you want, or just donate them.
Buy something large and heavy from Temu. Put in for a free return, but fill the box with an equivalent amount of lemons instead. Make sure you put the reason for return as "item was a lemon".
@Taleya @YarraByte have these people never heard of lemon butter? Lemon tarts? Monsters.
@Taleya @YarraByte @stib preserved lemons? As per Moroccan tradition?
I made those once a few years ago. Didn't care for them, so i'm cool with them missing the list
@Taleya they are an essential ingredient for a range of things, and useful in salads too. But mostly used in tagines
If you have heaps and are on the same side of town, I will happily take some lemons! I like the selling idea that Huw gave or even just leaving them in front of your house in a basket with a free sign
You don't see the other side
I will show this picture to my baby lemon trees as inspiration.
I covet this tree
My lemon tree shames his bloodline.
He's a true classic beast, came with the house. Farken pear tree is three times the size!
Spiny?
kinda, but in that way that you don't really notice if you get what I mean
Ah. One I had at an old rental was pretty frecking dangerous, spines bigger than fruit
oh this one is spiny, but it''s the kind you don't notice when you're picking fruit.
You sure as fuck notice the little bastards when cleaning up pruned branches though. They're everywhere and HUGE
Wonderful. Reminds me of my grandma's lemon tree before her neighbour reduced it to a stump.
Not a big fan myself. Lady who lives nearby was doing the same, taking lemons and giving us jars of curd. After the third time I said, can we stop giving lemons to this woman FFS!
Salt preserved lemons are good, and easy should you wish to try
@Taleya @YarraByte how sad for you.
I also have a loads and loads of lemons from the lemon tree, but noone wants to take them away and return them as curd to me.
Why don't you try giving the curd away.
People want the jars back
accidentally put them in the recycle bin or say they broke because they shouldn't have been repurposed
I can't go smashing people's jars in this economy!
@Taleya :blobcatsurprised: oh! how demanding of them!
I feel you are failing to understand the sequence.
I am drowning in lemon curd. I Cannot on gift this lemon curd because the original gifters want the jars back. These jars therefore cannot in good faith be passed to yet another party who may fail to return them. I am now their custodian, the one to guarantee their safe return. They have become chinese obligations.
@Taleya I get that.
so I do not understand the sarcasm you appeared to employ when I reply to "can you give them to someone else" with "They want the jars back", you see my quandary?
Or it may have not been sarcasm I'm kinda working against both text interface and a peak ASD day here
@Taleya I'm not being sarcastic.
I don't see the problem. Love the stuff.
So do I. That should give you an idea of how much curd is being inflicted.
Hahaha. I get it. It's like when every year for birthdays, Christmas, Easter I receive boxes and tubs of Maltesers from friends and family. I love 'em but please stop.
My inlaws give me massive jars of olives. I love olives but not those olives. I've had to decline at times which leaves them sad.
Let me guess. They give you green olives?
Yeah. They are the biggest jars I've ever seen in my life. They don't fit in my fridge.
I will trade you lemons I fucking LOVE those cunts
I don't need lemons. I go shopping at my inlaws. They grow a lot of food.
teach them to spanish stuff
Teach me cos I don't know what that means.
spanish stuffed olives are the ones you get at any grocery store, the green ones in vinegar that have had the pips cored out and stuffed with peppers (well pimento) instead.
Right got it.
You know how you say you have a large lemon tree well they have TREES plural. Buckets and buckets of olives. Enough to make litres of olive oil which is delicious. Happy to take that. Pipping and stuffing ain't an option.
!!!!! I can swap you pears or apples - two kinds - grapefruit, fejoia, bananas, oranges, limes, nectarines, nectazees, pomegranates, babaco, boysenberries, chillis, tomatillos or even black tea!
(I really fuckin' like olives and my tree is still a baby)