Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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There are many solutions. I have chosen xmpp/ejabberd/conversations/monal.
You know, I'm really curious about xmpp, kinda wanna check it out, but then every time I am reminded that it exists it comes with a new and different chain of dependencies? other apps? whatever the other things are anyways that people list with it. And then I don't bother researching because suddenly it seems like the more complicated option. Not intending to insult, just lamenting.
@ArchEngel @Eirikr70 You can try it out by just downloading a client and registering an account on a free server. It's all here: https://xmpp.org/getting-started/.
Once you find a client you like and decide you want to stick with it, you can install a server you like. Prosody, snikket, and ejabberd are the most well-regarded (and snikket is just a fork of prosody that's designed to have a super easy setup; so realistically you're down to a choice between two).