this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2025
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Same here. Not one person felt safe enough to come out at my high school. That first get together after starting college was incredible: the people who started queer relationships that first semester weren't always happy (I mean, that's fair given how bad dating can suck), but they were finally getting to live the way they should've had the freedom to their whole lives and it showed.
It's stupid and funny how ready my classmates were to accept LGBTQ+ relationships, but only after graduation. If we'd just extracted our heads from our butts, we could've made the environment our friends needed to be more fully themselves while we had the time with them.
i mean, so many people faced a lot of shit for coming out in the 80s and 90s. it wasn't until after a lot of people had come out and fought those battles for us that society in general became more accepting
Yeah, that's what I'm sayin. We were their classmates. We the ones who made it hard by attacking and verbally abusing them and contributing to a culture where the word "queer" was a slur, not just a descriptor with 0 inherent right/wrongness to it. Then, what, graduation rolls around and a magic switch gets flipped and suddenly we're not a bunch of dry-roasted shit on toast people? It was so fucking disrespectful, stupid, and just plain wasteful of the time we could've spent together with them feeling confident in living their regular lives. We missed out on some of the best parts of the people we called our friends because we didn't build them a safe environment. There weren't that many parents teaching their kids that people are just people regardless of what their bodies look like, who they're attracted to, or how well their insides match their outsides. This is, objectively, some pretty basic, don't-be-a-garbage-species shit. We've been learning and re-learning this lesson for generations in America between waves of immigration from different parts of the world, the personhood and rights of Black Americans, and the recognition/rights of sexual and gender minorities and it just feels like maybe we should dispense with the bullshit already. Learn the lesson one last time and move the fuck on. Don't we have better things to do?
Children are psychopaths. And growing up and being a royal asshole to people, then becoming self aware and realizing how you've hurt... Basically your community that you've lived most of your life so far with, can be a pretty sobering experience.
I don't know how old exactly you are, but when I was growing up, there was this absolutely stupid fad of calling anything you didn't like "gay". Like, oh, your pet bird died? Aww, that's gay, I'm sorry for your loss. The umpire made a bad call again? They're all so fucking gay.
It wasn't even until recently that I realized how homophobic my brother has always been. I remember him talking about how his teachers had began punishing kids for saying stuff like that, for using gay wrong, and how he would retort by saying "no, i mean they're gay like 'has sex with men'." Teenagers can be such little shits, ya know?