So some context, my gf (I guess currently ex..) and I had been dating for ~8 months prior to Nov 8th, where we had a difficult "conversion" (Mostly me sobbing) about her needing to figure herself out in being polyamorous. This is the second time this happened, though the first time was very short lived and didnt result in anything being learned really.
I would consider myself mono, but I'm not opposed to trying new things. If it means I can stay with her I am willing to try anything, especially since our bond is insanely tight. Im the first person she felt the breakup conversation should happen in person and she was sobbing right along with me, though with a bit more control of her language.
I really don't know what to expect, as I just sent the message saying I'd be willing to try it once we go over our boundaries and recover from this whole thing (Shes likely at work, so I dont expect a response for a few hours). Anyone who has some insight it would be really appreciated to share.
I'm really scared, since its hard for me to find people in town that I bond with this closely. I need that physical bond, online relationships just dont work for me. I guess as a silver lining, me crying this much is a sign the hrt is starting to take some effect ๐
-Nikki
in talking to her since and getting to know how things would work out i do question how important monogamy is to me. ive come to the point in my head of being happy with her attraction to others assuming everyone keeps good communication, and even if i dont feel that attraction am still happy to make new close irl friends. my biggest struggle is with the sexual side of things for sure, and will talk about that with her asap.
as it stands i am willing to try, and ensure my thoughts are not being locked up. if it feels completely wrong then i know where to take my leave, as vulnerable as ive been. but its an opportunity to learn about myself that i dont wanna pass up at this point. really the worst outcome is that its not for me, and that i end up with an amazing friend instead of girlfriend.
this all isnt trying to disagree with you, you make very valid points given what ive told in my post. just sharing my feelings and what info seems relevant. your input means a lot, thank you