So some context, my gf (I guess currently ex..) and I had been dating for ~8 months prior to Nov 8th, where we had a difficult "conversion" (Mostly me sobbing) about her needing to figure herself out in being polyamorous. This is the second time this happened, though the first time was very short lived and didnt result in anything being learned really.
I would consider myself mono, but I'm not opposed to trying new things. If it means I can stay with her I am willing to try anything, especially since our bond is insanely tight. Im the first person she felt the breakup conversation should happen in person and she was sobbing right along with me, though with a bit more control of her language.
I really don't know what to expect, as I just sent the message saying I'd be willing to try it once we go over our boundaries and recover from this whole thing (Shes likely at work, so I dont expect a response for a few hours). Anyone who has some insight it would be really appreciated to share.
I'm really scared, since its hard for me to find people in town that I bond with this closely. I need that physical bond, online relationships just dont work for me. I guess as a silver lining, me crying this much is a sign the hrt is starting to take some effect ๐
-Nikki
Sounds like you feel vulnerable right now - which I think it just part of any worthwhile relationship.
When I have felt similarly vulnerable, I found it centering to internalize my commitment to our bond.
My spouse is the person that I would flex however they need, to be there for and have fun with them.
When they have had needs I'm still trying to understand, I center my mind on this core belief: I plan to be there for them.
It sounds to me like you found someone worth that, and are making peace with how vulnerable that leaves you.
I don't know what to add except I've been there, and it has been worth it.
i appreciate the kind words and absolutely agree with your philosophy. even if things dont work out relationship wise too, i would do anything to see her smile. as a girlfriend, wife, friend, anything that shed be considered to me as time passes and we learn about ourselves