memes

I hear you and honestly, those answers are exactly what most people would say. You are being honost and, honestly, most people aren’t naturals at this. It’s a learned skill, not a personality trait.

That said, small talk isn’t really about coming up with something you find interesting. It’s more about stepping a little outside your own head and giving the other person something to work with. It's giving them permission to show you which direction they want the conversation to go.

Think of small talk like a nudge that invites someone else to open a door. It’s not supposed to feel profound to you at first! The goal is to offering a tiny thread for them to tug on. Some people don't and that's fine. Some do! Maybe they relate to hating work, maybe they tell you how they unwind, maybe they joke back. You don't know and that is where things can be fun!

Today, saw a guy walking down the hallway where I was working. He had a shirt with a movie I recognized on it. I said "I love that shirt bud! Great movie!" He said "Aww thanks! I got it a few weeks back and...."

He ended up stopping and we chatted for a moment about the director and other films.

Now, he could have just nodded and walked past. That is fine! It wasn't about my satisfaction! But when he bit and replied, I made a friend out of a stranger.

The skill is in giving the other person a starting point and then being curious about where they take it. That takes practice, especially when it doesn’t come naturally. It will feel awkward at first and may even be painful, but that is the same with all learned skills. Sucking at something is just the first step towards being sort of good at something. The more you do it, the more you start to notice small sparks you wouldn’t have seen before.

It’s not about you being interesting, it’s about being curious about other people and their interests. And that’s a skill anyone can strengthen, one low-pressure exchange at a time.