this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2025
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I’m the guy who takes a shot at a random conversation on the plane.
Doesn’t often turn into anything, but sometimes it’s a nice little glimpse into humanity.
Guess I don’t know what trains you’re on that are so full of the drunk and homeless, but that sounds like a problem in its own right.
Leave me alone.
On a plane? That's much worse, you can't just change seats or get out if you want to avoid the person. Oh god
Or… shudder… shut down the conversation with your words and body language.
Oh god the anxiety of it all.
Yes the sort of people who start unsolicited conversations with others on a plane sure is the type to take a subtle hint
So don’t be subtle.
So now you arw putting the pressure on other people to stop you from bothering them insteas of not just bothering them. Not to mention the other person will have no idea how you will take the rejection, what your intentions are and so on.
Seems pretty selfish to put them in that position.
I’m not trying to get into the “how to disengage from a stranger” conversation, but your assessment of people interacting in public seems to be predicated with an assumption that they dont understand people.
You have made some additional bad assumptions about how you think the interactions I’m proposing should go, and how and when they should stop.
The good news is that this hostility toward the world that you seem to set on projecting from these comments is usually pretty obvious, so I probably wouldn’t have bothered.
Just put your headphones on and your hoodie up so you can get back to arguing with strangers on the internet, and continue your transit in misery.
It wouldn't cost you anything not to bother others, especially in situations where they can't leave. I'm sure your intentions are good (even though other's can't know that) but you will be making a lot of people uncomfortable in your attempt to connect with them. There's better places for that than public transit or a plane. That's all.
Also doesn’t cost anything to bring some joy, or if not joy, at least novelty, into people’s lives.
I think you dramatically overestimate how many people are made uncomfortable due to your own anxieties about it. I also think you’re missing out on little opportunities for joy in your life.
I can keep posting links, but it’s pretty clear you’re not reading them. (ETA: they might have been in other threads)
There are also plenty of worse ones.
But you won't know if it will bring them joy or not. But you push ahead, even in situations where people are stuck. It just feels self-serving.
That’s true. Hard to predict the future.
I’d say it’s a lot more likely that joy or anxiety are the outlier cases, and just a kind of indifference, with a positive tone, is the baseline.
And now we’re back to bad assumptions and straw men.
Fine fine, one more link.
https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0037323
Non-paywall summary: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/07/26/744267015/want-to-feel-happier-today-try-talking-to-a-stranger
Did you not earlier say how you initiate conversations with people even on planes?
Are you sure?
Yes. What is your point?
It's not that the trains are so full of drunk homeless people, but that trains are affordable and also conductors aren't going to physically throw out a person that could get violent. Planes you don't really get on without a ticket. An entire class of people are filtered off the plane because of that.
And anyway, said group are a minority, but they're the only ones who randomly talk to strangers most of the time. Everyone else minds their own business in my experience.
I’m not going to question your experience too much, but it’s sad to me that this would be true.
A random conversation in a random interaction with somebody you could have easily not talked to can be great fun.
I once took an overnight flight from the west coast to the east coast. The flight wasn't very crowded and I intentionally picked a seat away from other ocupied seats.
I get on the plane, as I'm warking back to my seat I notice there's entire rows that are empty. So instead of picking a seat in an open row, and this. fucking. guy. picked the window seat closest to my aisle seat, and he talked for most of the flight. In hindsight I should have just sat somewhere else when I first noticed him.
Heh yeah that’s rough.
Baffling that you didn’t switch seats though.
It sounds dumb but I didn't want to be rude.