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my partner has been mentally unwell and i can't be there for them. (lemmings.world)

submitted 5 days ago by StupidIdiot@lemmings.world to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

12 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Cross-posted from "my partner has been mentally unwell and i can't be there for them." by @StupidIdiot@lemmings.world in !relationship_advice@lemmy.world

i feel like they can't expect me to do what they want in the relationship (spend more time with them and not friends and Super Mario/Nintendo games) but rather they should do what i want, which is just play with me and realize i can't be there for them.

i wouldn't call myself a Nintendo addict, but i do play for very long hours without even talking to my partner. yes, i've seen the other gaming post as a fedi lurker, but i also have a similar relationship. i don't talk to them because i'm so absorbed in my game that i forget and don't even think about them. i only think about them when i'm not playing a game, which is admittedly rarely, though i would never tell them this.

i can't be there for them when they're upset nor can i talk to them through their depression and anxiety because i'm busy on a game, but i really feel like they should give gaming a try. it's a fun form of escapism and shooters and Super Mario really help.

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[–] StupidIdiot@lemmings.world -5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

yeah, partner and games are equally important to me.

[–] KyuubiNoKitsune@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 5 days ago

See, your words say that they are equal, but your actions (and other words) , say that they are not. If they were equal, you would be spending 5h gaming and 5h with them.

I don't think you should be in this relationship, not for yourself and especially not for them. This kind of lopsided priorities will destroy the other person's self esteem and make them feel worthless.

But, because from what you've said, you care about gaming more than anything, think of it this way, you get to drop the baggage in lieu of being able to spend more time gaming.