this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2025
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Off My Chest

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my partner has been mentally unwell and i can't be there for them. (lemmings.world)
submitted 5 days ago by StupidIdiot@lemmings.world to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world
12 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Cross-posted from "my partner has been mentally unwell and i can't be there for them." by @StupidIdiot@lemmings.world in !relationship_advice@lemmy.world

i feel like they can't expect me to do what they want in the relationship (spend more time with them and not friends and Super Mario/Nintendo games) but rather they should do what i want, which is just play with me and realize i can't be there for them.

i wouldn't call myself a Nintendo addict, but i do play for very long hours without even talking to my partner. yes, i've seen the other gaming post as a fedi lurker, but i also have a similar relationship. i don't talk to them because i'm so absorbed in my game that i forget and don't even think about them. i only think about them when i'm not playing a game, which is admittedly rarely, though i would never tell them this.

i can't be there for them when they're upset nor can i talk to them through their depression and anxiety because i'm busy on a game, but i really feel like they should give gaming a try. it's a fun form of escapism and shooters and Super Mario really help.

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[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

How many hours a day do you spend working, and how many gaming? Do you live with your partner? If not how often do you see them?

If i were in your partners shoes I'd get escaping for an evening or two a week, maybe most of a weekend, however 6+ hours a day leans more into a significant addiction imo.

At that point you have to decide if your current partner or commitment to your game is more important in your life.

[–] StupidIdiot@lemmings.world -5 points 5 days ago (2 children)

  1. i don't work, so 11+ hours gaming

  2. i talk to them every day or two but i see them every week.

  3. i'm totally not addicted...

  4. my partner, i don't wanna leave them, but gaming is, tbh, equally important. it's a fun form of escapism and i too have depression so yeah.

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago

Imo its not wrong for your partner to expect more from you here. If you can't commit to that you may want to find a partner who enjoys gaming and wants to game with you or you may have to cut back to keep them.

I too can spend 10+ hours in a day into a game, but i try my best to limit that as my work, social life, and hobbies all deserve attention as well. Its harder in the morning to say put the canoe on my car and go fishing instead of gaming, but a day of fishing is often more satisfying in the end than gaming is to me.

[–] EnsignWashout@startrek.website 6 points 5 days ago

11+ hours gaming

Just so you know, many of us would call 11+ daily hours gaming an addiction.

I would lose so much that I care about if I played that many hours.