this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2025
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Mental Health

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I've always found it odd when I hear people say this. I'm never quite sure how I'm supposed to take it. I live alone. I have like zero responsibilities outside of work. So in that regard, every single day I do "something nice" for myself. I get to eat whatever I want, watch whatever I want on TV, etc.

One "argument" I've heard that this is instead supposed to mean to like exercise or something, but I exercise is very unpleasant to me. I committed to consistent running for over a year and never enjoyed it lol. I feel similarly about all forms of exercise.

I dunno. What am I missing here? Is telling people to do something nice for themselves reserved for people with heavy responsibilities like children and such? Because I don't understand why people would tell me to do that to myself or how I am supposed to apply that. Existing with high freedom and low responsibilities seems pretty nice to myself so I don't get it.

Am I just dumb lol?

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[โ€“] dingus@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yes, often I feel bad for a lot of the people I know with children. Some of them give and give but never do anything for themselves. It makes me a bit sad because they are deserving of nice things for themselves.

I totally understand that these responsibilities are different from a job. That's why I feel very fortunate to be in my position where I don't have those responsibilities. I can relax at the end of the day. Many people can't.

It just seems to be the common mental health advice everywhere...not just from random people on the internet, but trained mental health professionals...even ones who I have spoken to directly. They ask you to do that and I'm just left there like "well every day is something nice for me because of my circumstances" so it's odd to me.

I will say that I most definitely do not see myself in a positive light...never have. And sometimes when I am stressed out and having problems, my close friend will even occasionally say for me to do something nice to myself. And it's just odd to me. She knows what my life is like and how I don't have any responsibilities. She is the one who gives and gives to her family and others but never takes for herself, not me.

[โ€“] owenfromcanada@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 months ago

Yeah, it's common advice because lots of us need it. But again, doing something nice for yourself isn't just about pursuing an activity or buying something, there are lots of ways.

For some people, treating yourself looks like exercise and eating well. And that's because it's a way of treating yourself in a loving and caring way, and for those people it's something that makes them feel good about themselves.

For others, it might be repeating self-loving affirmations. Or taking time to meditate. Or making a mug cake. Or going for a walk. It's whatever makes you feel good about yourself, something that reaffirms your value.

For some of us, it's really hard to know what those things are. I'm a hard person to gift for, because I don't really pay attention to the things I want. I don't neglect my needs, but I'm not really aware of the things that make me feel good about myself, I don't really think about it.

So maybe spend some time thinking about things that make you feel good about yourself. What kind of things do other people do for you that make you feel valued?