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Every study I've seen says that vitamins make not difference in the majority of cases. Low vitamin levels can have cold like symptoms, and in that case vitamins will fix the problem.
OP is definitely hilariously exaggerating it, but it certainly can't hurt to make sure your body has all the nutrients it needs, and placebo shouldn't be discounted.
In my experience and from my good but not professional knowledge, the most objectively beneficial thing is just to stay well hydrated and eat something. You need that to feel good even if you're not sick, and when you're fighting an infection your body is going to be diverting energy to things like fever rather than the stomach, so easy to digest is very important.
And what's something that has lots of vitamins and minerals and easy to digest calories while also being filled with water? Fruit! (noodles are also a good option, easy to digest plus there's broth so you get more water)
Then add on the fact that e.g. citrus just viscerally feels fresh and like it should help with illness, and you have a very convincing reason to get a bag of mandarins to snack on while you're sick.
It won't cure a cold overnight, but it might well bring enough relief that it's not a full week of wanting to die, and if it has absolutely no effect then oh no you ate a bunch of healthy stuff how terrible.
There is a difference between vitamins and food. Food has nutrition: not just vitamins but calories, fiber, and such. Vitamins mostly make your pee expensive as your body has to work to get rid of the excess to keep the right balance.
sometimes vitamins are needed - see your doctor for advice not internet comments. without medical advice vitamens are wasting money
you seem to be talking about supplements, not vitamins. Fruit is decidedly not expensive unless you live on the mcmurdo antarctic research station.
People talking about vitamins universially mean suppliments. Whole foods are better, but people talk about eating healty then (also meaningless but potentially better)