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Just get a decent device with enough ram and CPU. Typically home usage doesn't require that much in the way of resources. I personally like MediaTek with hardware NAT but if your CPU is powerful enough you should be perfectly fine with software NAT/routing.
What is the software setup when you're actually configuring the minipc/box? Beyond the hardware architecture of the local network, what is the actual stack I should be pursuing and how is it implemented?
For example: I read lots of great things about OPNsense, Wireguard, DietPi... but I don't know what the exact stew should be and how to set it up ELI5 style.
I would just buy a device with OpenWRT support