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Mocktail perfect for man who doesn't want to drink, but still wants to spend $18 (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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Local restaurant the Green Garden began serving mocktails which are perfect for the person who doesn’t want to drink, but still wants to spend $18, confirmed sources.

“I was feeling left out drinking an affordable diet Coke,” explained sober man Lawrence Wilkes. “All my friends were having a great time spending $22 at a time on espresso martinis and mezcal old fashioned drinks. I always felt excluded when it was time to close out our tabs and I’d only spent like $16 on food and they’d spent half their paychecks in one sitting. Thankfully there’s a way to feel like I partied hard too. Like, when we went to the Green Garden, I noticed they had a menu of mocktails. I think that is a portmanteau of mock and cocktail, but I would have to Google it to make sure. It was delicious, and it cost me as much as a burger without fries would have, so I felt good about it. I’ve just had way too much money on my hand ever since I quit boozing.” [...]

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[–] AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Throughout my life I've come to realize that being a non-smoker and non-drinker (alcohol or caffeine for that matter) really puts you in a difficult spot a lot of the time. I've missed on a lot of crucial socializing because of it. People around here tend to meet and bond over these things. Plus, being the only sober person at a gathering... sucks, to put it lightly. My partner recently had to take that role at their work gathering, and after returning home, they just told me "now I know how you feel", lol.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's normal, but rather pathetic that people can't socialize without getting intoxicated.

[–] AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago

Honestly, I'd be happy to find people who just want to play board games and party games (i.e. Mafia) sober, but with my circumstances it's rather difficult. Instead, I vicariously experience it by watching other people do it on the internet, heh...