this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2025
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Watching this parade of nonentities blunder through one half-hearted peril after another, I found myself, heretic that I am, rooting for the xenomorph-T-Rex bastard, if only in hope of a mass extinction event that would put both humans and script out of their misery. The storyline stumbles about like a sedated raptor, random, twitchy, and never quite threatening. Not even the prospect of “heart disease miracle drugs” can raise the pulse.

Did anyone enjoy Jurassic World Rebirth? I would really like to hear what you liked about it.

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[–] Vanth@reddthat.com 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Eminently forgettable. I saw it earlier this week and am already struggling to recall details. It felt like a Netflix flick.

Mostly I was left wondering why the pilot in Dominion who felt like such an obvious future for the franchise, has been dropped and forgotten.

In my head canon, Michael Crichton made one more JP script before he died, realized women could be just as meaningful and competent characters as men, and wrote a script around the pilot. Wise absolutely had action film lead energy.

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 2 points 23 hours ago

That's a rather dramatic re-imagination of Michael Chriton, but I'm willing to hallucenate this with you!