this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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on the male loneliness epidemic (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 4 weeks ago by carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works
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Show transcriptScreenshot of a Tumblr post by nongunktional:

when i first heard about the male loneliness epidemic i was like oh yeah close camaraderie and bonding between men is often discouraged in favor of competition or, if not discouraged, at least filtered through a lens of individualism that precludes deep connections. and then i learned what people meant by it (men arent getting laid) to which i say skill issue

to all the men out there not getting laid: try less hard to get laid and try more hard to be an enjoyable and relaxing presence

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[–] shoo@lemmy.world 0 points 3 weeks ago

I give up. You're just saying things for the sake of saying them. Literally none of that supports your hypothesis that it's a personal failing that can be cured by getting hobbies.

  • The complaint about relationships being casual and not progressing is a major complaint found in other studies. It is, in fact, possible to go on dates and get laid without obtaining the benefits of a committed relationship.
  • Again, the political split by gender is obvious. But you're dismissing how wide the rift is and why it's happening, just chalking it up to a personal failing.
  • What are the factors that are making it hard to approach? Why is that felt so broadly? This goes back to the flaw in your argument, stating the end goal as the solution.
  • The harassment concern is the flip side of the approach problem. There's no evidence that dating is actually more dangerous than before, so why is there this chilling effect? How is that a problem that can be fixed by individual effort?
  • Dating apps have an overwhelming negative perception for actually landing a serious relationship. A majority of users reported using them without being open to long term commitment. See bullet 1.

You really sound like someone who hasn't dated recently or knows any young people in the dating pool. Of the people I know, the research fits their complaints to the letter. They do work harder on self improvement than older generations ever did (mental health, physical health, public image on social media, etc...) with no results. Saying just go meet people is condescending, like a boomer telling people to get jobs by handing out printed resumes.