this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2025
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One of these days I will get around to writing my effort post about how having kids has really opened my eyes as how much gender really is a social construct. I’ve tried to avoid pushing gender norms on my kids but the reality is that society is so overwhelming in this regard.
Also, while I am very much on the side of “let kids pick their own stuff” (largely based on what I said above), my wife got my daughter her first backpack - a sparkly purple unicorn backpack. Which is fine in itself. But… I shouldn’t be, but I do feel kinda hurt I was not involved in the process. Because - and I know this is a bit odd - I am a bit of a backpack aficionado. I worked in an independent outdoor goods store for a couple years and got really involved with the backpacks. Kinda like, my “thing”. There wasn’t anything intentional, but still…
So I realized at some point after having my child that a lot of the gender neutral items are actually just more typically “boy” gendered things put on girls. I wanted to not go along with this. I put my baby boy in flowery onesies and was told “why is he wearing girls clothes?.” Like flowers are for girls?? Those beautiful things that just grow in the ground? What a weird society.
A girl in a dinosaur shirt, no one bats an eye. A boy in a sparkly unicorn shirt, people comment. I am not saying dinosaurs are for boys, I am saying unicorns are also for boys. Then also, sparkly unicorns are for all kids. I have become so anti today’s “gender neutral” because it just isn’t neutral.
Anyways, that backpack will be fun because your kid thinks it is fun. Maybe go get a second backpack for the weekends and make that backpack fun too by doing things together in it :)