I’m a 27 year old single mom with a 12 year old son (Yes I was 15 when I had him) and I got out of a physically/sexually abusive relationship with my son’s biological father a few years ago. I haven’t had any serious relationships since then, but recently I’ve been feeling kind of lonely and exhausted since I work two jobs and take care of my son. I was planning on getting back into dating, so I was wondering if I could get a man’s perspective on how to navigate dating as a single mom since most men aren’t willing to take on my “baggage” (Hate this term). I’ve been hit on quite a few times by men my age in public places when i’m alone on the street or at the gym, but when I tell them I have a kid they seem to be immediately disinterested. (Not necessarily blaming them)
I’m looking for a long term partner who is obviously very willing to take on the task of being a father. Outside of great personal qualities, I’d like someone who can help me financially just enough so I can quit one of my jobs and provide a great life for my son. Sexual compatibility would be a bonus as well lol. I definitely want to make sure they are the one before I bring them home to my son, and I also want to make sure my son is comfortable around them as well. Dunno if I’m asking for too much? I would love some advice from a man’s perspective because it feels like there’s so much to consider. How early do I tell someone about my kid? If they are fine with a kid, are they willing to support me somewhat financially? What if my son doesn’t like them? It feels like I’m asking for so much out of a man that’s already impossible to find.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)
Edit: Thank you all so much for your advice! I just met a single dad at the park while we were watching our kids and he asked me out for lunch. He seems like a good guy, he was playful towards my son, so maybe something great can come out of this.
Find a matchmaker! If they're any good, they'll send you people who won't have any of your dealbreakers and will match most of your preferences. Prices for matchmaking services can be all over the map, so look around until you find one that works. I would avoid services that don't charge women because they tend to deliver bad matches for women -- they are the product, not the customer.
You absolutely do deserve to find someone who would want to (and who you would want to) become a part of your family.