this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2025
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I’m a 27 year old single mom with a 12 year old son (Yes I was 15 when I had him) and I got out of a physically/sexually abusive relationship with my son’s biological father a few years ago. I haven’t had any serious relationships since then, but recently I’ve been feeling kind of lonely and exhausted since I work two jobs and take care of my son. I was planning on getting back into dating, so I was wondering if I could get a man’s perspective on how to navigate dating as a single mom since most men aren’t willing to take on my “baggage” (Hate this term). I’ve been hit on quite a few times by men my age in public places when i’m alone on the street or at the gym, but when I tell them I have a kid they seem to be immediately disinterested. (Not necessarily blaming them)

I’m looking for a long term partner who is obviously very willing to take on the task of being a father. Outside of great personal qualities, I’d like someone who can help me financially just enough so I can quit one of my jobs and provide a great life for my son. Sexual compatibility would be a bonus as well lol. I definitely want to make sure they are the one before I bring them home to my son, and I also want to make sure my son is comfortable around them as well. Dunno if I’m asking for too much? I would love some advice from a man’s perspective because it feels like there’s so much to consider. How early do I tell someone about my kid? If they are fine with a kid, are they willing to support me somewhat financially? What if my son doesn’t like them? It feels like I’m asking for so much out of a man that’s already impossible to find.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)

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[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’m confused by all the men not being ok with a kid. But then, I’m in my 40s and trying to navigate the dumpster fire that is app dating, and literally 95% of women in my age group have kids, and it has never been a problem for me. So, I’m just spitballing, but maybe slightly older men would be more accepting?

What's confusing about not wanting kids? If you're looking for a long term relationship and you don't want kids then that kind of precludes dating people who already have kids.