this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2025
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El Chisme
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["Fly Me To The Moon" plays]
"Oh, this is- this is nice. This is the end. OK. Where exactly am I? Uhm, oh, gre- here's the Iranian missiles, oh good. Uhm... There's some things that are still unresolved here, guys? Ho- how do I get home? What do I eat? Was the GOP going to throw me under the bus or was... Hell, was this all in my mind? What's a sperm retrieval unit, is that sort of a Freudian thing, or? Uhm, am I real? Aw, he- does the bus run through here? I mean, I'd like to go home now, but, uhm- aw, God, where's home? OK, OK, OK: I mustn't run away, I mustn't run- OK, I got that, good, OK. Now if I were to run away, let's analyze that: where the FUCK would I go?! I'm in a glorified military outpost! Uhhhh, is this how you start a war? I mean, is this where we go from here? OK, the lobbyist deals better sure as hell make up for this, I'm telling you right now, 'cause I'm stuck in nowhereland. You're running out of conscripts, too, aren't you, you bastards?"