this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
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The real self-help secret is balance, but different people have different biases so the changes necessary to achieve balance are different.
Timid pessimists need to learn the power of yes.
People-pleasers need to learn the power of no.
Procrastinators need to work more.
Workaholics need to work less.
Narcissists need to be considerate of others.
The insecure need to be considerate of themselves.
Trying to read every self help book for maximum mental health is like taking every pill in your medicine cabinet for maximum physical health.
The real "self-help secret" is "self" and hardly a secret. It's the first bloody word in "self-help". The real problem is that people event want someone else to do their self-help for them. The second problem is that they don't even see the fucking paradox in it. Thinking is hard. Let's go shopping...
Seeking help when you're unsure how to address your problems is a part of helping yourself. No one knows everything, you have to learn somehow. Sure, the industry is plagued by commodification, but the principle of learning these techniques and perspectives from books isn't inherently lesser than learning any other subject that way.
Sure, but expectig turn-key solutions from the end- and contentless rows of self-help guides isn't quite effective unless you hit the one in a dozen that actually was written with the intent of being helpful instead of making easy money from other peoples troubles. And the OP seemed to point into that direction.