memes

According to Wikipedia, the Chihuahua weighs up to 3kg whereas an adult male hippo weighs 1500kg. I'm going to consider these numbers for our speculative (hopefully) fight and assume I'll be fighting 500 chihuahuas or 1 hippo. I found that

A Chihuahua’s top speed on record is 23.72 mph

and

Hippos are reported to reach 30 km/h (19 mph) but this has not been confirmed

This data seems important to determine the outcome of the fight, since either of them would likely outrun me and I'd be tempted to get to high ground in both cases. Additionally,

[Hippos] are incapable of jumping but can walk up steep banks

and

A Chihuahua can typically jump up to 2 feet high

so a high enough stage would probably be enough to stay out of reach. But if I must fight each one on their own terms, the hippo would probably choose the river, and the chihuhua would choose Chihuhua City, which I assume contains, like any city, high grounds of all sorts, putting me to relative safety. This is why I choose to fight 500 chihuhuas

sources

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippopotamus
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chihuahua_(dog_breed)
https://thechihuahuashack.com/how-fast-can-a-chihuahua-run/
https://chihuahuaguide.com/how-high-can-chihuahuas-jump/