So, I have been friends with Belinda for a while and just broke free.

At the time, she accepted me into her friend group when no one else would.

I was always the “weird kid” because I behaved differently and needed special education.

During my freshman year, I met this very pretty girl in my Gym class. She had a great fashion sense, wore light makeup, and seemed like one of the popular girls.

I found out her name was Belinda. I started to talk to her, and surprisingly, she was really nice. She didn’t seem fake at all.

I developed feelings for her. She looked really pretty and was also kind to me when no one else was. She gave a vibe of confidence too, which made me like her.

Eventually, since we seemed to hit it off and she acted like she enjoyed my company a lot, I confessed to her that I liked her.

That’s where it went wrong.

She rejected me. “Sorry, I’m not that into you.”

That in itself would have been fine. In fact, the only reason I confessed was because of the chance she could be into me since she was bi.

“I’m not into people like you. Socially awkward girls who can’t do anything.”

I cried for days after the fact, but I moved on and I still liked her as a friend.

She complained to me in her darkest times. I complained back. We comforted each other. I wrote an appreciation note for her (she blocked me so I can’t find it now).

However, one thing I would fail to take into consideration was the way she treated me a lot of the time. She would always talk behind my back.

If I didn’t act the way she wanted me to, she’d make fun of me, scream at me, kick me out of her circle. She got mad at me because I didn’t like sports.

Then, she would scream at me more and have her friends hate me for little things because I wasn’t perfect.

I eventually unmasked fully around her and told her I was autistic. She hated me even more and bullied other autistic people as well, as I later found out.

I found out recently she never liked me and pretended to.

In the group chat, I remember an incident where she made jokes about she and her friends raping other people and each other. They then said this would never happen to me because no one wanted an autistic person. Not to touch them nor have sexual relations with them.

She defends pedophilia.

I have so much trauma from Belinda and her friend that I can’t look them in the eye or say anything without getting physically sick, specifically with the friend.

I have cut all contact with these people.