this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2025
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I'd extrapolate this priorities conversation from "sex" to pleasure. Hobbies, video games, casually socializing, and sex as you said. Obviously different people enjoy different activities to different extents. But this greater conversation is the hill I will die on.
USAmericans society has retained this conservative/puritanical idea that your work is your life, "idle hands are the devil's plaything", and everything else: vacations, video games, hobbies, sex... is a way to "unwind" so you can get back to work. The way we talk about these endeavors is truly depressing. We categorize and judge people based on "What do you do for work?", and hobbies and other entertainment is reserved for those truly close to us. Steve, who works in Accounting, might hate his job and only live for MTG Arena, but most conversations will steer toward How he survives rather than Why. Even sex and romance has been relegated to a systematic process, talked about and hijacked by consumerism more as a way to advance social standing, than for love or pleasure. Date (buy food), Engagement (buy ring), Marriage (fund ceremony, buy ring). And this is without any legal framework that requires that or prohibits casual hookups/co-habitation.
This whole "side-hustle", "grindset", "become the brand" extremist capitalist bullshit grates my sanity every time I hear it. That is what I believe creates the mental health difference "less prudish Europe" and "puritanical US", as you pointed out. I believe the idea vision of society is where we automate as much of our necessary processes as possible, implement a comfortable UBI, and pay people a good amount for filling those positions. Why the rest of society doesn't think that is beyond me.
After all, human society is made by humans, for humans. It should not be geared for labor machines.
Hedonism is an oft criticised motivation. Yet when we think of what we want for our kids, our families, our friends; so often it boils down to "I want them to be happy".
huh, never heard that term before. but I looked it up, and yeah, I guess that's it.