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Where in this city can I get a tuna salad sandwich?
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It has to, at a bare minimum, have celery or onion mixed in, preferably both. Also common are corn, peas, various herbs, bell peppers, olives, pickled or raw cucumber, or other garden vegetables.
You're never going to find that in a restaurant. You'll have to make it at home.
It's pretty common to see in the Great Plains, in diners and the like.
That's sounds reasonable, but now I'm wondering why your wife would object to that.