this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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[–] azvasKvklenko@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Didn't they explicitly ask via #metoo movement and what not for men to NOT approach them directly ever or else they screem that this is harassment?

[–] Burghler@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

No that's totally different. You can approach women just don't be a douche/creep and respect the rejections and otherwise when it works you're in.

Your point holds under circumstances that make them uncomfortable like during night or when they're feeling unsafe because a few bad apples do invoke trauma.

If you're not a bad apple you have nothing to worry about. Except femcels, those ones are misandrists and theres no hope like for incels. Leave them to correct themselves or stay alone forever.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

If you're not a bad apple you have nothing to worry about. Except femcels, those ones are misandrists and theres no hope like for incels.

It's not always immediately obvious who those are. So every interaction is a dice roll to see if you get a date, get rejected politely, or screamed at and publicly dragged through the mud. Remember the Instagram gym girls yelling at gym bros glancing in their general direction? For a lot of younger men, the consequences of the risk, however small, outweigh the reward.

[–] azvasKvklenko@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 months ago

I think that speaking out loud about malicious activities towards women is important and yes, harassment is real, but it really feels like society became almost too sensitive when it comes to approaching women. Some years ago there were video campaigns where they would literally show how one men stops another from talking to stranger female, before he was given a change to be either creepy or nice and respectful with like assumption that this is bad anyway. And also who's to judge where's the boundary between being creep or not anyway, this can be very subjective.

And it's not my POV, I just speak about what I see in internet/media. Being gay introvert I couldn't care less about talking to strangers...

[–] Nosavingthrow@lemmy.world 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Not all men. You. They don't want YOU to approach them.

[–] surph_ninja@lemmy.world -5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

If you mistook ‘don’t be creepy’ for ‘don’t approach women at all,’ then yeah. You’re probably in a mental place where you shouldn’t approach.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

No dating for the autists who aren't good with social cues, got it.

[–] surph_ninja@lemmy.world 0 points 4 months ago

Dating is a social activity. I’m not sure how you do it without being able to perform socially, but there’s probably resources out there to learn from.

[–] calcopiritus@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Given how a lot of women are, don't be creepy does mean "don't approach them at all. Unless I'm interested in you, which I won't tell you because men have to make the first move".

[–] surph_ninja@lemmy.world -1 points 4 months ago

That wasn’t my experience at all when dating. Just treat them like a person. Be friends. If you get on ok, then make your move. They often beat me to it.

If the cold open approach isn’t working, change strategies.