What about SimpleX Chat? Comes without identifiers, is open source and not located in the US. Relay Servers are located in Germany, UK and Sweden and it's possible to host your own. Last audit was in 2024. No metadata is stored. Fundings are handled very transparently and presentated on the Website.

Not meaning to advertise it, just genuine interested in other peoples opinion.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 14 hours ago

You kinda want to only use simpleX for secret communications, things you don't want anyone unauthorized to know about. It's not really made for the use-cases that discord is and it's good to keep a secrecy hygiene so you don't accidentally send sensitive information to the wrong chat.

Meanwhile element (matrix) is specifically targeted at the same use-cases as discord and has good enough end-to-end encryption for general family chats and such, things you'd very much prefer not just being out there in the open but also no one is ever going to bother hacking into.