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De-facto memory leak
(lemmy.world)
Lemmy Server Performance
lemmy_server uses the Diesel ORM that automatically generates SQL statements. There are serious performance problems in June and July 2023 preventing Lemmy from scaling. Topics include caching, PostgreSQL extensions for troubleshooting, Client/Server Code/SQL Data/server operator apps/sever operator API (performance and storage monitoring), etc.
Normally with XDCR you can specify which documents to replicate out of a bucket. It doesn't have to be the entire bucket. So if you had certain types (comments, upvotes, etc) then only those would sync when the target comes online.
I did check into Apache CouchDB, the open source upstream, and replication is there. We use Enterprise Couchbase at work and it's a dream but there are some tools that I use that only use Apache CouchDB (Inkdrop for example). It's worth looking into.