this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2025
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What is a third person honerific for nonbinary individuals? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 days ago by mlegstrong@sh.itjust.works to c/asktransgender@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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What word would be the equivalent for sir or ma’am for a person not in the gender norm. I like greeting strangers with it while working retail & have always wondered what would be the right why to respond to someone who did not want to be called either sir or ma’am.

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[–] mlegstrong@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have seen Mix thrown around online but it doesn’t seem any more common then a lot of the other honorific suggestions I’ve seen.

I disagree with the removal honorifics in language. I get we don’t have lords & ladies anymore but I’ve found making anyone I help feel like one has led to me getting more orders filled. I understand why some people don’t want them personally but I think it would be a shame to throw the baby out with the bathwater cuz the norms don’t yet include everyone.

[–] altoids0@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yeah I'm not really starkly in favour of a removal or anything, just pitching that as my opinion :)

That said, I think it's super possible to provide good service to people without honorifics! Making people feel respected is more than just saying a specific word a bunch of times, like maybe you're getting a positive result out of customers just because saying those honorifics put you into the frame of mind of being nice to them and taking them seriously.

IMO it's entirely possible to talk super fancy with a dozen "sir"s or whatever and be intensely rude (look up British MPs insulting each other as a potential example). Conversely I think it's possible to be extremely hospitable with rustic, informal language. Singular particles are not really the end of language, it's the greater action and meaning that matter way more.