this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2025
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Autism

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My perspective on why I didn't like Korean BBQ tonight: (lemmy.world)
submitted 3 days ago by fuzzyleonardo@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
13 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Only a limited amount of food is ready at one time so I can only eat a few bites and then have to wait for more to cook.

I have to flavor my food in sauces I'm not used to. If I don't, it's very bland.

There's a sharing aspect to ask the food. Nothing can claimed unless socializing a desire for it and everybody reaches into the middle of the food to grab what they want.

The lighting is terrible. This restaurant is lit like an office hallway.

The seating is uncomfortable. It's wooden benches with a grill that runs under the length of the table that my legs bump into. The seating is both too close and too far away at the same time.

The food is diy. I go to restaurants so I don't have to prepare food.

More food keeps getting ordered therefore prolonging my experience. I can't judge when the meal will be over like with typical restaurant experiences.

I've had a long day at work and my social energy is very low.

The food fluctuates in texture. The same food can taste very different.

Food was dropped on the table and then put on my plate.

The one dish I knew I liked and didn't have to fret over was dipped into by other people's spoons so I couldn't eat it anymore.

Exceptions:

I get to use chopsticks.

It made my gf happy.

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[–] leverage 9 points 3 days ago

For Korean BBQ, and other restaurants like this such as Hot Pot, you need to drop any conception you have about these being places you go to eat. These are places you go to socialize, the food is secondary. This is food that is optimized to be eaten slowly over 2+ hours, because you aren't there for the food, you're there to hang out with people.

We tend to have rigid concepts of things and get disregulated when expectations aren't met. You walked into a restaurant thinking they'd serve you food and you'd be done in a normal amount of time, of course you had a less than ideal time.

I had the exact same complaints about Korean BBQ and crawfish boils, but now that I've changed my expectations of them, they are a great time assuming you're with people you like. The food tastes much better in good company.

I've had this experience with a ton of things in life. Not being able to make sense of something sucks. When that something is an event / experience, the experience sucks, and if you aren't careful you will set in your mind that experience as the standard for such events. So much random nonsense exists strictly as an excuse to socialize, and when you don't enjoy socializing because you haven't managed to consistently do it with people you like (basically all NT people, 85%+ of the world), the random nonsense won't make sense. None of this is ever outright explained.

Me at 12, taken fishing on a lake. 6 hours later, what the fuck was the point of that. I could have been playing video games. We didn't even catch any fish! Me at 30, hell yeah, an excuse to drink some beers with friends and get away from the house for a weekend.

Hopefully you can give it another shot one day, maybe at a place that has more comfortable seats. There are certainly places where everyone gets enough grill space and food doesn't need to be shared so much.