No Stupid Questions
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
view the rest of the comments
To answer your title? Yes. Aggressively so.
That's fine. There are plenty of friends I don't share the same activities with.
One of the core things about being a friend with someone is getting to know them. That means their emotional state and their general interests. If you don't show any interest in them, why would or should they show any interest in you? It's a wasted investment.
I mean that's fine. It's everything else that's extremely problematic.
Your friend reached out to say that they thought of you in a moment when they had no real reason to. They're saying that because they care and want to demonstrate that. By ignoring that, you are telling them that you don't care about whether or not they are interested in you. Whether you mean that is something else but that is the story you are telling them.
Oh they 100% are. No one is going to stay in a one sided relationship for long because it's a waste of their effort. They care and be emotionally open but get nothing in return except pain. By you not engaging with them when they try to engage with you, that comes off as you having zero interest in them. They're going to start questioning why they keep talking to you when you don't talk back. They are going to eventually come to the conclusion that you are not demonstrating any interest in them because you just simply are not interested in them. They will stop talking to you entirely and any memories they've had of you will become tarnished in their mind as a one-sided friendship.
You are making an insane gamble here that will not pay off. Why would they ever be there for you? You were never there for them. You didn't share in the small joys of life that they tried to share with you, why would they want to share in your miseries? They will only see you as a source of negative emotion. They will see you as sucking up their positive vibes towards you and showering them in negative emotion as they get nothing in return. Then they'll feel used as you only talk to them when you need something from them. They will see you using them for an emotional cushion and realize that the only thing they are to you is a crutch. When they make that realization, they will leave you and never look back.
So are most people but we make time and effort for our friends.
I can guarantee you that you hurt the hell of their feelings. Whether or not they said it? They were pretty upset. They offered to spend time with you because they like you and wanted to share in that. Asked if you'd like to spend time with them for the same reason and you rejected it. They aren't going to know the reason unless you said it so they're just going to invent a reason. With all of your other behaviors? They're going to assume that you don't like them at all and stop trying.
No, you're being a dick. Being honest is telling the truth but that does not mean being aggressively blunt. That does not mean phrasing it in such a way as to hurt someone else or to be emotionally painful. You could have said no in a thousand different ways that would have been just as truthful while also not as hurtful.
Then you better not be surprised when no one wants to engage with you.
I told my friends I was sorry, that I was really depressed, and needed some time away from people.