I should have just died at birth. I actually tried making this stupid life worth living and it's all wasted effort. Nothing improved, as manic episodes don't count as "happiness". I will always be burdensome scum and a waste of flesh and resources. I'm always going to be emotionally, mentally, and physically stunted. I'm always going to be a joke to society. I'm always going to feel like a void trying to blend in with the actual people. Nothing will improve regardless of how much I try. My only choices are being abused for the rest of my life despite everything, and being a burden at work and on society of the actually loved people. I don't enjoy anything anymore. My life peaked at 4. I don't see a point in trying to improve myself anymore.
To be human is to be part of a community. A community that exists to support its members. You are one who needs that support, and if not supported then the community does not fulfill its function, thus has no right to exist. Our support for you proves we have a right to exist, and so your existence is essential to us. We need you. Can you remain with us so that we can remain also?