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Anon tries to understand his coworker (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 3 days ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 days ago

Why not ask? If a guy asks a girl (or vice versa) to go somewhere and it's not abundantly clear it's not a date (e.g. you've done similar things together before, they're openly gay, or they explicitly said it's not a date), then it should be assumed to be a date unless clarified otherwise. So if they don't specify and you're unsure, then ask.

That said, her leaving is also odd. A misunderstanding shouldn't be a big deal. Show up the next day and laugh about it, and you're golden. I wouldn't be mad if that happened to me, nor should either anon or the girl. It's just a misunderstanding, it's really no big deal.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 3 days ago

Why do you see a date as the default for men and women hanging out together?

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago

That's just how social expectations are. I recommend you go ask a handful of single men you know (i.e. coworkers) whether they'd consider a 1:1 outing with a woman to be a "date." I'm guessing most would say yes.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev -1 points 2 days ago

Context matters: they're coworkers.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

Exactly, they're coworkers where OP isn't certain if they were flirting or just being friendly, and other coworkers confirm she's flirting. To me that means:

  • they don't have a good enough relationship to tell the difference, so probably not "friends"
  • other coworkers don't seem to experience the same thing
  • claims to not have other friends (surely she'd mention a BF, no?)

So to me, that sounds very much like she's flirting, so it's totally understandable for OP to consider it a date.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 2 points 2 days ago

Facts:

  1. Anon intended for this to be a date.
  2. Anon never said this was a date.
  3. Anon never asked if she was single.
this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2024
187 points (93.1% liked)

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