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Someone please convince me I'll be alright if Trump wins
(lemmynsfw.com)
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this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2024
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Mental Health
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Thanks but my discipline is terrible so today I did mostly the same shit as yesterday. I succeeded at trapping a free-roaming cat that's been coming to eat but after half an hour sitting in the cage with it I grew no closer to befriending it, just got bitten. Oh well, at least you get a cat pic.
I sent the "progress" report to my coach and she told me I don't have to bother coming next week, as there is no point when I can't follow her advice.
I replied positively to a course offer at uni that will make this "gap year" at least somewhat productive, so there's that. I still have to type out the email to the psychiatrist before I go to sleep.
The college is impractically far and commuting makes me tired. My parents are at home in the afternoon but they are way too aggressive at trying to get me to work, I am already too tired most of the time and can't focus when they're watching. I tried dad's office but his boss is not happy with my frequent toilet visits and I don't get too productive there either. The problem is: they're right, the only time I'm productive is when there is somebody around but they just wreck my mood when they're behind my back so there is a huge cost: I get 0-10 minutes of productivity for every evening spent crying or pouting. However, still better than what I would be doing alone.
The nearest town has a library but I'm still pretty sure I couldn't end up productive if I used the study room. The work is coding btw and I'm not disciplined enough to disable procrastination webpages; still I would probably end up binging "Unusual articles" or similar collections on Wikipedia. I guess it there is harm to try the library, though.
Thank you for the cat tax, though I'm sorry to hear you got bit.
I completely understand re: campus being too far to be practical, but 100% recommend giving the library a shot. Given that it's coding, the whole 'use an organization's device rather than yours' thing is tricky (unless you can put everything you need on a remote/web-accessible IDE or something - I remember screwing around with something like this but as decidedly not-a-coder, it may not be practical). Still, the library has the whole other humans being around aspect going for it, with the benefit that said humans aren't going to go out of their way to distract or push you. Sometimes people just being there, but doing their own thing, is enough to help folks buckle down a bit. But it might not be, and that's ok - at least you'll know.
If all else fails, pay more attention to my first post and the others like it here than the second one. It's certainly worth trying for progress while waiting on meds, but if it's just not happening focus on well-being. I obviously don't know you well enough to offer more practical advice on trying to get the project done, but definitely think meds will help if your psychiatrist agrees.
Hang in there buddy.
No problem. I'd take a gruesome, mind-wrecking rabies death over Trump any day if it didn't entail so much suffering for everyone around. So yeah, I thoroughly disinfected the wound. The election scar on my soul will stay way past 2029 though, if I love that long.