You literally cannot mess with your emissions system legally…

First of all, that's a Clean Air Act thing with limited purpose and scope, not a blanket restriction on owners' right to modify their property. Moreover, it is certainly not a restriction imposed and enforced by manufacturers that somehow justifies making the software closed-source and DRM'd. I want to make it clear here that, by supporting closed-source vehicle software, what you are really supporting is private enforcement of laws instead of government enforcement of laws, which is incredibly fucked up.

Second, it is not true that the act of messing with the emissions system is itself illegal. What's illegal is the act of using the vehicle on public roads afterwards. You can use your emissions-system-modified car off-road or on private property (e.g. farms or racetracks) all you want.

Third, the way that law is implemented is, frankly, bad and wrong anyway. Instead of saying that parts need to be EPA-certified (or, in practice, CARB-certified) to be legal to use and that the ECU has to report "ready," what it should do is say you can modify it however you want but that it has to pass a real "stick-a-probe-in-the-tailpipe-and-actually-fucking-measure" emissions test instead of a bullshit "visually inspect and plug a computer into the OBD2 port" test.

...nor can you disable or modify certain safety systems (seat belts, etc).

No, that's a lie. It is perfectly legal to swap your factory seat belts for a DOT-approved and properly-installed four-point racing harness, for instance.

I don’t need your massive multiple ton machine bluescreening down the highway or locking up the breaks randomly because you installed the wrong module.

That sort of thing could already happen for decades due to people fucking up their mechanical modification of the brakes, yet that's always been allowed. In practice, it isn't actually a widespread problem because people aren't actually as suicidally moronic as you seem to think they are, and that isn't going to magically change just because a computer is involved. Your argument is nothing but exactly the kind of fearmongering that I'm calling bullshit on.

Honestly, it was a car, a thing; I can't claim legitimate pain. It makes me a little sad on occasion, but overall in my life it won't matter. My mom, who loved aphorisms, would have said "by the time you've been married twice, you'll forget all about it." I plan to maintain my first and current marriage, but the sentiment fits.

I am very sorry for the loss of your Element! I was only in one once, but I loved the way the dials worked. Perhaps this humorous lyric from the song "Swagless" by Spose might provide some comfort:

I could sign and drive a boxy Honda SUV and not be in my element

219,000 is pretty solid for any car. I think I bought my Flex at 83,000 miles and sold it at under 100,000. Maybe the starting mileage was 73,000, but somewhere in that vicinity. That included using it as my primary transport vehicle when moving across several hundred miles (which, TBH, is probably what killed it - but I appreciated that I was able to use it and its vast cargo capacity.)

With reference to the toast at the end of the comment, I've always loved boxy vehicles. As a kid, my favorite vehicle was my dad's 1984 Toyota Celica (though his was maroon, unlike the picture). It's also the car in which I learned to drive a manual.

They don't make many boxy cars anymore. The first time I saw a Flex was on the highway and I said to my passengers "what was that?! I want one" then several years later I had referenced it so much my wife said to me some form of "FINE, shut up about it and go buy one." Several hours later I drove home my favorite vehicle so far.

Thanks for the response!

Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of ~~science~~ infotainment development?

That's really cool! Do you know of real-world systems using this?