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The "Neurodivergent Gaze"? by Ember Green
(youtu.be)
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I’m about halfway through the video, and I agree with basically all of it so far.
Something I experience is that when I shower and wear my normal comfy clothes (which are 100% permanent press/spandex blend fabrics and thus look nicer, higher end, etc, but aren’t - I shop primarily at thrift stores and still wear stuff from middle school which was 24 years ago) people always tell me how nice and fancy I look. And the only response I really have is “oh, thanks, umm, well I showered today and my clothes are clean, that’s probably it”, simply because that’s my normal clothing so I see nothing overly fancy about it.
It’s not fancy or conforming to the male/neurotypical gaze or whatever nonsense, it just meets my specific clothing requirements (stretchy, soft, loose around arms/lower legs, loose collar like a v-neck or tank top), but because people tend to associate that look with business casual, they think I’m dressed up.
I wonder how often people judge me for that.. probably less than when I had colored hair (which I liked doing but was really uncomfortable to go out in public with), but more than if I could stand to wear jeans and cotton t-shirts.