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"I built an arm wrestling chair." Sure you did
(i.redd.it)
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It would legit be easier to get rid of if you called it a masturbation chair.
Free: gently used jerk-off-chair. Never bare-assed it, but spritzed with fabreez anyway. Sticky texture is from woodfinish/varnish. Should hold most earthly humans, but if you're worried about it holding your weight, you can come try it out. Pick-up only.